How to Tour in a Band or Whatever
by Thor Harris1-Don’t Complain. Bitching, moaning, whining is tour cancer. If something is wrong fix it or shut the fuck up you fucking dick. goddamn.
2-If you fart, claim it.
3-Don’t Lose shit. Everybody loses shit. Don’t fucking do it. Asshole.
4-Don’t fuck anyone in the band. There are tons of people to fuck who are not in this band. Dumbass.
5-If you feel like shit all the time, drink less beer at the gig. You will play better & feel better. What are you… a child? Some have the endurance for self abuse. Most don’t.
6-Remember the soundman’s name. He will do a better job.
7- Eat oranges. Cures constipation & prevents colds.
8-Masturbate. Duh… Where & when? Be creative. You’re an artist right?
9-If YOU can’t carry your suitcase 3 blocks, it’s too goddamn big.
10-Respect public space in the van. Don’t clutter, you Fuck.
11-If you borrow something, return it. Not Fucked Up.
12-Do not let the promoter dick you or talk you out of the guarantee. If there were not enuf people there, it’s their fault.
13- Driver picks the music.
14-One navigator only (usually sitting shotgun). Everyone else shut the fuck up.
15-Soundcheck is for checking sounds. Shut the fuck up while everyone else is checking.
16-Don’t wander off. Let someone know where you are.
17-Clean up after yourself. What are you… a goddamn toddler?
18-Touring makes everyone bi-polar. Ride the waves as best you can and remember, moods pass. So don’t make any snap decisions or declarations when you are drunk or insane.
19-Fast food is Poison.
20-The guestlist is for friends, family & people you might want to fuck. Everyone else can pay. They have day jobs.
21- Don’t evaluate your whole life while you’re sitting in a janitor closet waiting to go on. You think you’re above having shitty days at work? Shut up & do your goddamn job.
This list was written under the influence of lots of esspresso & anti-depressants while on tour w/ such greats as Shearwater, Swans, Smog, Lisa Germano, Angels of Light, Bill Callahan & many more. I hope this list will help you get along w/ your co-workers whatever your job is. Contributions to the list by Jordan Geiger, Kimberly Burke, Brian Orloff, Brian Phillips Celebrity Gang Bang, Kevin Schneider, Jonathan Meiburg, Michael Gira and some other folks.
Thanks for not being an asshole, Thor Harris

Lung’s tune ‘Broken’ (kokeshi)
in this lovely mix by Solitude
Solitude - Ambient Dubstep Vol. 17
http://soundcloud.com/solitudeTracklist
Nanobyte - Lost Time
RQ - Willows
Miyuki - Things We Left Behind
RQ - Surface Tension
Delta X - Don’t Forever
Versa - Monsoon
Vaun - Colourful
Nanobyte - Kalyke
Mala - Alicia
FullCasual & Brais Larkin Ft. Kooka - Feel (Congi Remix)
J-One, Wen, Lex, Arktrix - Should Have
J-One - Spirits Awaken
Formless - Hidden Realm
Kahn Ft. Jasmine - Altar
My Nu Leng - Find You
Lung - Broken
VVV - Present Tense
Stumbleine - Try To Remember Me (boyChild remix)
Zelda Marshall - Replay (Kyson Remix)
Sorrow - Through The Night
Sorrow & Owsey - One Chance With Her, Two With Mistakes
Sangam - Green Clouds Lead Us To Peak
Ghostlight - Known All The Days
Daughter - Love (Synkro Remix)
Akema - That Was Then
Blu Mar Ten - Blue Skies (Unquote Remix)
Biome - Swan (Versa Remix)
DJ Rum - The Darkest Hour Is Just Before Dawn (Undercoat Pt.2)
Mirror State - Statue
My Nu Leng - Fireflies VIP
Unknown - Two Two’s
Nanobyte - Rogue
Kaiju - Silverfish
DCult - Worked
Content - Forewarned
Gantz - Left Right Hindsight
Kaiju - Lone Wolf
RQ - Slight Light
Anstam - Aeto B
Clubroot - Sjambok
The Drum and Bass Diaries: Episode 1 - What is drum and bass?





